(06) The Law of Reality
The ‘law of reality’ can be depicted in many different ways, depending on which aspect of this law you want to emphasise. Basically, the ‘law of reality’ means that everything that exists is subject to real-world conditions – i.e. the laws of nature, the conditions of space and time, cause and effect, change and impermanence.
1. Mirror image with cracks
A person stands in front of a mirror, and the reflection shows not the perfect wish, but the ‘true’ version – with cracks, scars, perhaps tired eyes. 🪞➡️ Symbol for: You can indulge in your dreams, however reality reflects back what really is.
2. Tree in two halves
One side of the tree is green, vibrant, beautiful – imagination, hope. The other side is bare, whipped by the wind, with fallen leaves – reality as it can really be. 🌳⚖️ Symbol for: Between ideal and reality.
3. Water and stone
💧🪨 Symbol for: Reality as a hard stone against which desires and ideas crash – yet patience (water) slowly reshapes the stone.
A constantly flowing water meets a hard rock.
4. Person on a tightrope over an abyss
The person balances carefully – on the one hand their own dreams and desires, on the other hand gravity, reality, which pulls at all times. 🎡⚖️ Symbol for: The constant balancing act between dream and reality.
5. Clock in a sandy desert
⏳🏜️ Symbol for: The harsh truth of time and nature: everything is fleeting.
A large clock in the middle of an endless desert – time, space, impermanence.
6. Person with a mask, with the real face behind it
A beautiful, smiling mask on the outside – on the inside, a face that is tired, honest and real. 🎭➡️ Symbol for: The difference between desire and reality.
!!ATTENTION!!
NADEUM ANNUAL COACHING – SOCIAL SKILLS – – THE ‘12 LAWS OF SUCCESS’
Create your own, It starts here!!
I apply the task to experience the first impressions. I am amazed at the effect it has
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| 12:00 p.m. to 02:00 p.m. | |||
| 02:00 p.m. to 04:00 p.m. | |||
| 04:00 p.m. to 06:00 p.m. | |||
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| 04:00 a.m. to 06:00 a.m. | |||
| Results |
Once you have completed your exercise today, enter your findings in the corresponding field. If you still lack experience, simply practice this development step for another day. At the end of the diary: Look forward to your next learning session.
We wish you lots of fun and interesting insights.
Andreas Andiel has summarised the world’s most recognised know-how from the most proven success instructions for personal satisfaction and professional success in the context of the ‘12 natural laws for success’. And it is precisely this elite know-how that forms the basis for every online course in the areas of communication, self-motivation and motivation of others, as well as mental strength.
A few more important details…
Every evening, as the last action of the day, you fill out your personal diary and record your experiences of the day.
- Important: This step of writing is very important for sustainable development. The following content is based on previous experiences! Only by registering your experiences in the training area can you make your progress tangible for yourself.
You can repeat the previous content and also read again and again what you have written down.
At regular intervals (every 7 units), you will take a short interim test with your coach. This helps you to consolidate your learning progress, discuss what you have learned with your coach and thus consolidate your knowledge.
At times, you may think that an exercise has little to do with your profession or your personality. The course is structured didactically. Please do not skip any knowledge or exercises – trust that each step is important.
- For example: Professional athletes always start with a warm-up, constantly work on their fitness, strengthen their technique, and then move on to the game structure and a decisive competition. In professional sports, there is no ‘I already know that’ or ‘I don’t need that’
So complete each session before moving on to the next. Stay in the same session for two or three days if necessary. Train at your own pace.
YOUR NADEUM YEAR COACHING – SOCIAL SKILLS
The ‘12 LAWS OF SUCCESS’ at a glance
(This is your first task. Read it carefully. If you have any questions, please contact your coach at the WhatsApp number: +43 660 7621873) [You will see all laws again and again in all steps. When the text is blue, you are in the current exercise].
No. 01 – The Law of Responsibility –
Taking responsibility means taking advantage of a great opportunity. And without taking responsibility in society, there will be no successful engagement in society. By consciously taking responsibility for my own thinking, I recognise the creative possibilities in my own area and gain personal freedom.
No. 02 – The Law of Learning –
Learning from ‘mistakes’ means improving the path until it leads to the achievement of a goal. Get out of the ‘mistake game’! The main topics in this unit are solution-oriented, constructive thinking and action, positive interaction with one’s own environment and the acceptance of all feedback as an indicator for optimising one’s own path.
No. 03 – The Law of Will –
The difference between dreams, desires and intentions. How to develop a determined willpower. Recognising your own goals, developing a goal plan, determining the necessary effort and learning to develop a strong will for activities for yourself (and others) that will enable you to achieve your goal in the first place.
No. 04 – The Law of Action –
Knowing when to act, what to do, and how to do it is the basis of every project. After completing the planning and decision-making, it is now a matter of moving from talking to action and focusing all energies on the start-up phase.
No. 05 – The Law of Trust –
It is important to trust in yourself. However, it is just as important that society/the environment builds trust in us! One of the most important prerequisites for this is reliability, which in turn is based on personal responsibility and time/self-management.
No. 06 – The law of reality –
It is not always necessary to see everything the way everyone else sees it. However, it is crucial to know how others focus on learning to deal with it and to achieve a more understanding approach to your environment. Empathy, understanding and tolerance are key skills for living together in harmony.
No. 07 – The law of adaptation –
Everyone is on their own at first. The closer you are to someone else, the closer you are to them. And the more you get. Conscious adaptation or non-adaptation must be used in combination with a responsible approach to one’s own environment. By consciously deciding to adapt or not to adapt, the individual gains personal freedom and strength.
No. 08 – The Law of Leadership –
The basics of ‘alpha leadership’ and how to use them correctly. The right balance between ‘leading’ and ‘letting lead’. In this unit, it is also important to learn how to consciously use the instrument of ‘letting lead’ and thus create valuable conditions for teamwork and/or team leadership.
No. 09 – The Law of Balance –
Recognising a balance between ‘giving’ and ‘taking’. The balance of body, mind and soul must be established in order to achieve the same performance. It is also important to consider compensation to third parties. ‘If you want to reap, you must first sow’. Those who are aware that they will always have to pay for the desired person in the form of services, resources, etc. will achieve their goals more easily and be appreciated by their fellow human beings for their efforts.
No. 10 – Law of Growth –
Everything grows through the alternation of push and pause. Those who handle it correctly get the most out of it. Continuous action leads to growth and success. This unit conveys the positive aspects of consistent action, the basic requirements for success in every activity (private or professional).
No. 11 – Law of Defence –
Knowing when, what and how to successfully defend yourself gives you the gentle calm of self-confidence. Develop a ‘we’ thinking in a conflict situation and find solutions together that everyone can support. This unit also provides basic skills for harmonious interaction with your professional, family and social environment.
No. 12 – The Law of Usefulness –
When we give others what they want, they give us everything, according to the value we create for them. Increasing the value means getting more. Knowing one’s own value leads to a strong personality that is able to act calmly and sensibly in all situations and to shape one’s own life.
🧭 Law No. 06 – The Law of Reality
(‘The Law of Reality’)
🌟 Basic meaning
‘You can only work with what is – not with what you want.’
The Law of Reality states that true growth, healing and success are only possible when you accept reality as it is – not as you would like it to be. It is about radical honesty, clarity and responsibility. Only when you look with open eyes can you act effectively.
🔍 Key principles of the law
- Reality is not wishful thinking
- Dreams, plans and goals are important – but they must be based on real, lived reality.
- You cannot heal reality if you ignore it
- Suppression, sugarcoating or escapism do not help – they only delay your development.
- Reality is not your enemy – it is your starting point
- Your current situation is not ‘wrong’ – it is the foundation on which you can build.
- Responsibility is the key to transformation
- When you recognise what is and see yourself not as a victim but as a co-creator of your situation, change begins.
- Emotional reality also counts
- Not only external facts, but also your feelings, fears, needs and hurts are part of reality.
🧘♂️ In spiritual and cultural terms
Tradition Connection to reality
Buddhism Reality = perception without illusion (e.g. ‘dukkha’)
Christianity Truth sets you free (‘The truth will set you free’)
Islam Recognition of Qadar (divine destiny) as part of reality
African wisdom ‘What lies before your feet is your path’ – acceptance of the here and now
Stoicism (Western) ‘Accept what you cannot change – act on what you can change’
⚙️ Practical application
Area Concrete access to reality
Personal Create an honest analysis of where you stand: Where am I really?
Education / Learning What knowledge am I really lacking – despite wishful thinking?
Project / Business What are my real figures, resources and risks?
Relationships Where am I overlooking problems just to maintain harmony?
CBO / Community work What are the objective challenges in the community?
🧠 Three steps to working with reality
- Observe without judging
- What is actually there? Without blame or excuses.
- Accept what you cannot change
- Resources, origins, past, circumstances
- Take responsibility for what you can change
- Actions, reactions, dealing with others, goals
💬 Quote for further reflection
‘Growth begins where illusion ends.’
– Unknown
✨ Summary
The law of reality is an invitation to honesty, personal responsibility and clear thinking.
Only when you truly recognise what is can you change what should be.
No.06 No. 06 – The law of reality
REALITY
THE LAW OF REALITY
Every human being has his own reality and therefore life is often full of misunderstandings. Because when two people say or do the same thing, it is perceived and interpreted very differently.
The key to more understanding is empathy. Empathetic in dealing with others and yet self-responsible enough to know one’s own limits.
In the next window a self-assessment test awaits you.
Self-test REALITY
How sensitive are you?
Between empathy and compassion is often only a fine line. You can find out here whether you can distinguish between the two.
1. You have a violent argument with your partner, where many bad words are spoken. What happens afterwards?
You apologize, although you do not feel wrong to pacify the situation (A)
You go 15 minutes to the door to be able to think clearly again (B)
You try in a calm tone to clarify your point of view again (C)
2. You want to learn Chinese. How do you proceed?
According to a strict schedule (A)
When I feel that I like it (B)
I first practice interesting phrases (C)
3. What are you giving a good friend for his birthday?
Something practical (A)
Something funny (B)
Something he really wants (C)
4. Imagine you’re hosting a kid’s birthday party. After a short time, everyone is having a good time, only the birthday child is standing on the edge and is crying. How do you react?
I comfort the little one and distract her/him (A)
I try to integrate the little one into the game (B)
I interrupt the other children’s play and do something that everyone is involved in (C)
5. The waiter in the restaurant has miscalculated in your favour by two euros.
I draw his attention to this (A)
Depends on whether I like him or not (B)
I gratefully accept his misfortune (C)
6. Past failures depend on me for a long time.
Yes
No
7. There are very few people I really like and appreciate.
Yes
No
8. Sometimes I’d like to have less responsibility.
Yes
No
9. When I meet someone, it is easy for me to talk to him.
Yes
No
10. It’s about your strengths and weaknesses. Are you aware of your abilities?
Yes
No
11. Are you afraid of snakes?
Yes
No
12. I often do things I regret in retrospect.
Yes
No
13. It’s hard for me to speak in front of strangers.
Yes
No
14. No one really understands me.
Yes
No
15. I speak faster than I think.
Yes
No
Note your answers to each question for example 1. question – answer A | 6. question Yes or No on a separate sheet of paper.
In the next window you will receive your score.
EVALUATION
THE LAW OF REALITY
Compare your answers with this rating table and add up the points.
1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
A 2 1 0 1 2 Points
B 1 0 1 2 1 Points
C 0 2 2 0 0 Points
6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15.
Yes 1 1 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 Points
No 0 0 0 1 0 1 1 1 1 1 Points
More than 17 points
With a lot of feeling through life (B)
You are very sensitive and the people around you appreciate that. There is often a fine line between empathy and compassion. It can lead you to take everything to heart and run the risk of overlooking your own needs. When the reality of others becomes your own, it is sometimes difficult for you to assert yourself as a personality.
Between 16 and 8 points
Empathy instead of compassion (A)
This is exactly how it should be: Empathetic in dealing with others and yet self-responsible enough to know the limits. You intuitively have the gift to use your empathy in such a way that you don’t lose sight of yourself. You are well aware of the different perceptions and therefore get through life well.
Less than 7 points
A little more feeling, please! (C)
Negative experiences in the past have probably led you to feel that you have acquired an emotional tank. Too bad, because you often seem cool and reserved to others. Surely you only want to protect your own vulnerability – and in this sense you sometimes overshoot the mark. Recognizing the different realities could certainly help you to be more in tune with yourself.
Look forward to your next step of recognition.
Recognition Unit 76:
Please imagine the following situation:
You are attending a lecture, already sitting excited in the hall and waiting. After some time, the speaker comes in. You have never seen him before and are looking forward to what he has to say to you now. He stands in front, looks friendly into the group and greets you with the words:
“Cordially welcome, you assholes!”
How do you feel?
How do you feel now in this moment?
Does the salutation “you asshole” bother you?
Most likely this is the case. And there are now a lot of usual reactions.
From “asshole yourself”, to simply be curious about what comes next, to “No matter what he wants to achieve with it – he does not have to say asshole to me”.
Anyway, there will be a feeling rising in everyone that he can’t resist.
But now please imagine the following in addition:
• The speaker comes from the Dominican Republic and does not speak a word of German.
• He gives his speech in English, and it is about tourism in the Caribbean countries.
• For the first time in his life he now speaks abroad to a foreign audience.
• He is very nervous. Soft knees, a queasy feeling, wet hands…
…and there comes the idea to save him!
He remembers that a German holidaymaker once taught him a sentence at a welcome party in a Dominican holiday resort:
“Cordially welcome, you assholes”.
The translation means in his native language: “Welcome, you valuable person”!
A (bad) joke from the German holidaymaker of that time – a fatal mistake for this speaker.
For now, he remembers this sentence and uses it enthusiastically in his greeting, to show the German-speaking audience that he has great respect and a great deal of appreciation.
He proudly welcomes the audience in their national language: “Cordially Welcome, you…”. We know the rest…
Only two words were swapped here. But that would be enough to ruin the atmosphere of an evening and at least bogging down a lecturer’s career.
You probably know very well at this moment that the speaker does not want to get too close to you personally. You are sure that he can’t mean you personally, because he doesn’t know you at all.
But although you know very well that there is no reason for it, because there is no attack against you here, this little word “asshole” causes you to go into a fighting position inside, get an adrenaline flash and have unpleasant feelings.
This is a part of your reality.
Do you think it is possible that different people have different realities?
Exercise 76:
Answer the following 2 questions:
• How do you see yourself (for example character attributes, private, professional, dealing with friends, etc.)?
• How are you seen by others?
Recognition Unit 77:
Let’s take a look at what effects different realities can have in daily life:
• You have a conversation with someone, a small difference of opinion arises and you begin to discuss.
Actually, the discussion is pleasant and interesting. But suddenly your conversation partner is very aggressive or even insulted, hit hard – and the debate suddenly becomes very personal and hurtful.
You are standing there wondering what happened. You have not done anything and said nothing bad. You ask your counterpart what he’s got all of a sudden and tell him that you absolutely cannot understand his attitude.
You now try to explain to the other person what you intended – but the situation is getting more and more upsetting, and the conversation can no longer be saved.
• Someone gives a very clear instruction to an employee, a supplier, his child etc. You agree on a certain activity, which should be carried out in a certain way and within a certain time frame.
At the end of the time frame, however, this activity is either not completed at all or only partially completed.
This person then has a serious conversation with the person who received the instruction and asks why what was discussed was not implemented. And receives the answer:
“But that’s what I did. I understood it exactly as I implemented it. And that’s why I did it that way!
It almost seems as if the two had been at different meetings.
• Due to a situation that you don’t like, you repeatedly announce consequences in your vicinity.
You set a final deadline and clearly state that you will draw consequences if there is no compliance and also clearly say what these will look like. Since nothing has changed within the set deadline, you make your announcements now true and implement what you have announced.
And there you suddenly hear:
“I didn’t know that you meant it so seriously. You should have said that. Had I suspected that it was so important to you, I would of course have acted accordingly!”
And once again you ask yourself if you are in the wrong movie.
• Apropos film: Have two people ever told you about a film that they watched together on television or at the cinema?
And did you wonder whether they really saw the same film?
• Again, and again it happens that someone makes a (according to his belief) good, nice, harmless joke – and other people are deeply hurt and offended.
Do these people just not have a sense of humour?
When an entrepreneur raves to his banker about the rosy future of his business and the banker constantly doubts everything and is not very constructive – are they talking about the same company?
Exercise 77:
Swap the words “no” and “yes” all day long.
Then write down the resulting events.
Continued success with the implementation!
Intermediate test 11:
Self-confidence arises when I do things in my head.
Basic trust is simply the feeling that something can always happen to you.
The body needs continuity.
Only when you give something will you receive something!
People can have different realities.
Recognition Unit 78:
Let’s take a look together at why these situations have gone this way and what all this could have to do with different realities:
• You have a conversation with someone, a small difference of opinion arises and you begin to discuss. Suddenly your conversation partner is very aggressive or even offended, hard hit…
With a single word and a single gesture, you can make stimuli and memories run in another person.
If you now use such a word, such a gesture, which is completely irrelevant for you, but causes unpleasant feelings in your counterpart, then you and your interlocutor suddenly have two completely different realities.
• Someone gives a very clear instruction to another. However, this activity is either not done at all or is done badly or only partially.
Thereupon this person leads a serious conversation and gets to the answer
“I did that anyway. I understood it exactly as I implemented it. And that’s why I did it that way!” …
As a rule, the person you are talking to does not lie to you in such a situation and does not want to deceive you. He simply understood something different under the same words than you did.
The cause lies in the different meaning that one and the same word can have for someone.
• Due to a situation that you do not like, you repeatedly announce consequences in your environment.
Since nothing changes, you make your announcements true and implement what you have announced. And there you suddenly hear:
“I didn’t know that you meant it so seriously. You should have said that. Had I suspected that it was so important to you, I would of course have acted accordingly!”
Here, too, another reality was perceived. Where one announces something once and then implements it, the other just likes to chat and threaten without ever seriously thinking about implementing it. Therefore, the other did not mean it seriously.
• Have two people ever told you about a film they watched together on television or in the cinema?
And did you wonder if they really saw the same movie?
Everyone takes things with “their own eyes” and then reproduces them accordingly.
• Again, and again it happens that someone makes a good, nice, harmless joke (according to his belief) – and other people are deeply hurt and offended.
Also, here: Different experiences – different understanding.
• When an entrepreneur raves to his banker about the rosy future of his business and the banker constantly doubts everything and is not very constructive – are they talking about the same company?
They talk about the same company, but from a completely different point of view and on the basis of completely different experiences.
Exercise 78:
Choose a room and stand or sit in each corner of the room for 5 minutes.
Look at the room from different perspectives and observe how the point of view changes.
Write down your impressions.
Continued success with the implementation!
Recognition Unit 79:
Let’s play the scene with the welcome address again.
Imagine you are saluted with the words:
“Cordially welcome, your tables!”
What do you feel now?
Probably a mixture of astonishment and amusement. Anyway, you are quite calm and don’t have the slightest feeling of being attacked here. Because with the word “table” you don’t associate anything negative with your person. This is also a part of your reality.
You think these examples are far too far-fetched?
You mean there wouldn’t be such extreme differences in daily life?
Well, believing this is one of the serious errors that make communication, understanding, and togetherness so difficult.
Of course, different realities take place in much finer nuances. But that doesn’t make them any less meaningful.
Perhaps you now have an idea of what happened when you recently said something to a colleague, family member or friend and that person took it in a completely different way from what you meant. The resulting embarrassments are simply the result of different realities.
• But how different are the realities of individual people?
• How do they arise; how can you recognize them and how can you deal with them in order to avoid all the problems with each other in the future?
• How can one respond to this in order to better motivate and guide people through the recognition of personal realities?
• And above all: Is it possible to consciously steer one’s own reality and thus one’s own thinking, one’s own personality in the desired direction?
All these questions can be answered by looking at how realities arise: Imagine our brain being in reality a hard disk like a computer. And every time we make an experience, have an adventure, a file is recorded on this hard disk.
If any stimulus comes to us, which was also present during the recording of this experience, this stimulus is automatically the command to our hard disk to play the corresponding file.
And we receive, without being able to defend ourselves against it, again the same feelings, thoughts and physical reactions as when we first recorded this experience.
That is then our reality.
And the more often a file is played back, the deeper our feelings become, the more intense our physical reactions and the more “stubborn” our thoughts become when playing this file.
The more often we have an experience, the more it shapes us.
The predominant part of our actions – there are experts who even say that this is completely the case – is determined by such files, which are constantly played back – triggered by stimuli, which constantly pelt down on us.
Exercise 79:
Ask yourself for a whole day long, about everything you do:
“Why do I do that?”
Maybe then you will notice,
• that you do things out of habit even though they don’t seem meaningful to you.
• that you do things because these things are expected of you, even though you don’t want to do them at all.
• that you do things only because others also do these things.
Ask yourself too:
“Why do I do it this way and not differently?”
Write down your experiences.
Continued success with the implementation!
Recognition Unit 80:
Now it is certainly the case that the majority of all experiences within a society are the same for most people. This is due to the same education and the same environment.
Let us now assume, however, that only 10% of all human experiences and adventures are individual and therefore very personal.
If we assume that only 10% of the files of one person are not in concordance with those of other people, then we get an idea of how many different realities there are! Then we suddenly know what causes the problems in communication and interaction between people.
The panacea for the right way of dealing with others and one’s own realities is simply: Understanding!
Because you cannot change it. You can’t delete or change the stored files with other people under any circumstances and with yourself only with great difficulty.
You also can not orient yourself according to what stimuli trigger what actions, because these stimuli are so diverse that you can never pay attention to all.
You can only understand it.
However, this already takes you a big step further.
Let us now look at the handling of this understanding in two steps:
• with your fellow human beings
• and with yourself.
•
Let us first turn to your fellow man.
It often happens that you make a statement or perform an action that is perceived quite differently from what you meant. It has a completely different effect than you intended.
Now you know in the future that the reason for this (if it is not the conscious rejection of your interests) is simply the one that your counterpart has another reality.
This means that your interlocutor will play a completely different file than you because of your statement or action. Therefore, it leads to different feelings, to different thoughts, to a different understanding than it is the case with you.
First and foremost, keep in mind that the behaviour of your counterpart is exactly the way it is and not different due to a stored file that is currently being played.
And your opposite in principle “had done little about it”.
In this way, you can avoid “rocking up” an unwanted situation.
If you are at this point, you have already gained a lot.
In the future you will be able to show more understanding for your fellow human beings, because you now know that in your counterpart simply a file is played, against which he cannot defend himself.
Exercise 80:
1. Make a note here of the behaviour that has bothered or annoyed you about another person for a long time.
2. And now put yourself in the position of a lawyer who has the task of defending this person “in court” because of this behaviour.
Write a passionate plea for just this disturbing behaviour.
Continued success with the implementation!
Recognition Unit 81:
If you now want to change something beyond understanding and accepting, then try to understand what kind of file is the one that is currently running in your counterpart.
The file that has moved him to the corresponding statement or action.
Ask him openly what moved him to his action or statement, what he felt and which stimulus emanating from you (a certain word, a tone of voice, a certain action, a sentence structure, a look, a gesture etc.) was the trigger for his statement or action.
Most of the time, however, your counterpart will not be able to tell you this, but the answer will be that he understood it that way or that he had a bad feeling.
Then do not try to explain to him how you meant it, because in this situation it is like a dogmatism and does not lead you to your goal.
Try to understand what your counterpart feels and thinks. Strengthen your opponent with his own words in his positive thoughts and clear out his fears and anxieties with your counterpart – also with his own words.
Adapt yourself to the reality of your fellow human beings.
Try to understand which file is running on them and in case of complications never judge yourself according to what you mean – never according to your reality – but always according to what the other person understands, according to his reality.
The longer you practice this, the easier it will be for you to understand the thoughts and actions of your fellow human beings. And the better you will understand them and the more successful and harmonious your living together with your fellow human beings will be.
Always keep in mind that the realities are different.
And learn to understand, accept and positively lead the realities of others. Because this is one of the keys for outstanding leaders.
Just as important as being able to deal with the realities of others is understanding and mastering one’s own reality. Only those individuals who are in a position to decide more freely on their own realities than others, have the fundament to function as alpha leader.
With your own reality you clearly have much more leeway than with others and you can shape your own reality much more freely than is generally assumed.
No one is forced to accept the reality of others. This applies above all to the emotional situation; in which everyone freely decides to which reality he reacts and how he reacts to it.
Exercise 81:
Find a comfortable place (if possible, outdoors) and test every form of perception (except the sense of taste) for 5 minutes.
First close your ears and close your eyes.
Concentrate only on what you smell.
Then open your eyes and close your nose and ears. Look around you.
Then close your eyes and nose again and listen to the surroundings.
And at the end you try only to feel.
• How does your environment affect you?
• What impressions have you gained through the different ways of perception?
• Have you noticed any change in the realities?
Continued success with the implementation!
Recognition Unit 82:
In the following cases you can optimally implement the law of reality in your private life. Take the statements of these examples and apply them to your personal situation.
• You have a conversation with someone, a small difference of opinion arises and you begin to discuss. Suddenly your conversation partner is very aggressive or even insulted, hard hit…
Don’t try to explain your point of view to the person you are talking to.
In this situation this is completely pointless, since your counterpart would understand now everything what you would say in this connection, “wrongly”.
Stop the discussion by coming to an end to explain your opinion. Start asking instead.
Ask what you said or did to cause such a reaction.
Apologize beforehand in case you unknowingly hurt your interlocutor.
Emphasize that it was absolutely not your intention to attack your counterpart. Ask to be open to yourself so that you can understand what you have said or done that your interlocutor has upset to “make amends”.
Temporarily renounce the immediate enforcement of your opinion and instead try to understand the other person and his realities!
You will do yourself easier and easier.
• Due to a situation which you do not like, you announce consequences in your vicinity…
If you do this, make sure that your counterpart understands the announced actions as you do.
It is best to let your environment repeat your announcements. Do not only say what you will do but also talk about what consequences these actions will have for each individual and why you will surely carry through these consequences. If you can get your counterpart to understand and comprehend what personal disadvantages your consequences will have for him/her and if he/she also believes that these consequences will be met, then he/she will also understand that he/she should avoid these consequences and will act accordingly.
• In your private life in general always make sure that you understand the realities of your fellow human beings.
Try to say less and ask more.
Because those who ask questions simply learn more than those who constantly talk about themselves and their interests. And to understand your fellow human beings and their realities, you need to know a lot about them.
Only if you are able to recognize, understand and respond to the realities of your fellow human beings will you be able to get along very well with most people.
You will be popular and will achieve things that are really important to you much more easily. And you will feel more comfortable.
Exercise 82:
Look for someone who, for example, goes to the cinema with you, watches the same film on television or has seen the same film, read the same book as you or has been to the theatre with you.
Now tell each other the content of the film, book or play that inspired you the most.
Observe how different the two realities are and write down your impressions.
Continued success with the implementation!
Recognition Unit 83:
And in the following cases you can use the law of reality in an optimal way for your profession.
Take again the statements of the examples and convert them to your personal situation.
• If an entrepreneur raves to his banker about the rosy future of his business and the banker constantly doubts everything and is not very constructive – are they talking about the same company? …
Of course, they both speak of the same company. But everyone speaks from a different point of view, a different perspective, a different reality.
While the entrepreneur has his goals, visions and everything else that is to come in mind – the banker sees the achievements to date and the available figures – in other words everything that has been so far.
In this case the entrepreneur should push his visions and convictions of the coming actions aside and put himself in the position of the banker’s reality.
This means that he should not rave about what is to come but should prepare the previous achievements and the available figures accordingly so that they reflect healthy growth and secure development.
Because then the company is also a promising future from the banker’s point of view and in reality.
• Someone gives someone else a very clear instruction. However, this activity is either not carried out at all or is carried out poorly or only partially…
To avoid this, it is best to have the instructions repeated.
Also ask questions to make sure that the same goal is being pursued.
If you can get your counterpart to understand and reproduce why this instruction was given and what purpose it serves, then it is also more likely that he/she will act accordingly.
In your professional life, make sure that you understand the realities of your business partners and colleagues. Also try to say less to superiors, colleagues, customers and suppliers etc. and ask much more.
Because those who ask questions simply learn more than someone who constantly talks about himself and his interests. And to understand your professional partners and their realities, you need a lot of information about them.
Only if you are able to recognize, understand and respond to the realities of your professional partners will you be able to get along very well with most of them. And this in turn means that in every negotiation, in every meeting, in every project, you will experience much more support and will achieve much more.
In addition, you will be popular and a sought-after conversational partner, which is invaluable in the professional world.
Exercise 83:
Imagine a camera team accompanying you for a whole day.
From getting up in the morning to going to bed in the evening.
The only exceptions are the bathroom and toilet.
How would you behave – your gait, your greetings, your comments to other people, your facial expression, your posture etc.?
Would something change and if so, what?
Continued success with the implementation!
Recognition Unit 84:
When we now summarize the law of reality, we go back again to the example with the “insult”.
Here we have accepted these realities from society on the basis of constant experiences and circumstances. But it is absolutely up to us to put aside this reality at any time.
I can accept the reality of another person and be annoyed by an insult or see it in such a way that the other has a problem that does not burden me.
• In the first case my actions will be negative and cause negative reactions and thus influence my path negatively.
• In the second case my thinking, feeling and actions will be positively influenced.
Of course, this won’t work overnight, because the corresponding files are already deeply anchored in us. But if we always keep in mind in a situation, which causes a negative feeling or a negative thinking in us, that in this moment also only a file runs off in us, then we are already able to look at this possibility with some distance.
This distance already helps us to act more deliberately and consciously.
Thus, everyone is able to create his own positive reality on the level of thinking and thus to shape his path accordingly positive.
You now know that your feelings, your thoughts, your actions depend on experiences you have already lived to see.
But now you also know that you can decide for yourself whether to let these files run without resistance or to be aware of it and change your realities.
In any case, only one’s own reality is decisive for walking one’s own path to success.
Because nobody, who wants to impose his reality on you, would also go your way for you. And if it did – it would not give you satisfaction.
From now on you are able to understand the different realities, their emergence and their effects. To look at these with distance, to react constructively to different realities, even to influence them positively in the ideal case!
Welcome to the circle of those who understand the law of reality: You “valuable person”.
As a consequence, you can and should now say to yourself daily:
“I am aware that there are different realities and I try to understand and respond to the realities of others.”
However, for me and my way there is only my reality and I alone decide which realities of others I consciously accept and which realities I do not give space in my thinking.”
Exercise 84:
Create your “PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT”.
Write down your own personal realities and values that you have chosen for your life.
Continued success with the implementation!
Intermediate test 12:
Those who ask few questions can concentrate on the essentials and better understand the interests of their counterparts.
You have to use everything you can and know to offer benefits!
The patent recipe means to understand that the other person has its reality.
Never judge complications by another reality – never by that of your counterpart.
The more often we make an experience, the more it shapes us.
Recognition Unit 85:
Let us look at what effects the law of reality has on our bodies:
First of all, it is necessary to deal with the structure of our body. If we divide the human body into its smallest building blocks, we arrive at a microscopically small part, which we now call “stem cell” for simplicity’s sake.
And in these stem cells all information relevant for our body is collected. Our body receives this information as soon as it is procreated.
It is the accumulated physical development of all our ancestors, which are passed on to us.
These are then the “realities” of our body.
It depends on these when it comes to whether our body feels well or not.
What does this mean in practice?
Well, it means that the human body has a life of its own, its own realities. And these realities have to be understood in order to be able to respond to them.
Because only if one can recognise, understand and deal with these realities is it possible for the body to control itself.
Let us look at an example of a person whose ancestors have lived in Central Europe for hundreds of years.
From his birth he will be a typical Central European, with all the corresponding information in his “stem cells”. But now this person is born in Africa and also spends his life on this continent.
As we know, the climate in these latitudes is completely different from that in Central Europe. Since this person was born in Africa now, always lived in Africa and knows no other climate – thus also his spiritual reality considers this climate to be completely normal – one should be able to assume that the temperatures there do not disturb him particularly.
Since he is used to it.
But far from it: He will cope with the heat much better than any European who spends his holidays there, but he will always, his whole life long, suffer much more from the heat than those persons whose ancestors have lived on this continent for many generations.
The reality of his body is one that does not correspond to the conditions there.
We find the same situation with many “trivialities of daily life”:
• One is a more muscular and the other a more persevering type,
• One person takes certain foods very positively and another does not tolerate them at all, one person needs more sleep and another less,
• One is fit in the morning and the other is not fit until the evening and so there are many more examples.
We cannot change these realities of our body or only with great difficulty.
And the quintessence of this realization?
Well, if you constantly fight against the realities of your body, you lose a lot of quality of life and performance.
But if we recognize the realities of our body, understand and adapt to it, many things are much easier, we will be more efficient and healthier, and above all:
We will feel more comfortable.
Exercise 85:
Note today which realities of your body you can recognize.
• At what time of the day am I the fittest?
• Which foods are good or not good for me?
• How much sleep do I need?
• Am I rather a strength or endurance type etc. …?
Continued success with the implementation!
Recognition Unit 86:
Let us now look at some examples of how it becomes noticeable in daily practice when we do not pay attention to the realities of our body:
• Someone is so-called “physical grumpy in the mornings”.
So, someone who wakes up only slowly in the morning and whose functional apparatus only slowly gets going.
Not to be confused with the mental attitude and the feelings that someone has in the morning. We don’t deal here with how someone is in a good mood in the morning – because that, as we know meanwhile, only has to do with our own thoughts, which we can train!
No, here “physical grumpy in the mornings” means those people who in the morning – regardless of whether they are in a good mood or not – simply need more time to wake up and to be able to use their bodies to the full.
If someone like that forces his body to be very active right after waking up or tears it from sleep and forces it to be active immediately, his body will defend itself against it and react for example with nausea and vomiting or even worse.
To need a certain time after waking up to “warm up” is part of the reality of such a body and cannot be changed with pressure.
• When looking at the figure of a human being, there are so-called power types that inherently have more muscle mass and a predisposition to muscles. And there are so-called endurance types that have less muscle mass but much more pronounced tendons.
The latter will find it much more difficult to build muscle mass than the former.
On the other hand, reducing weight is much more difficult for the so-called power types. If you ignore these realities of your own body, it happens that over a long period of time – both during muscle training and when losing weight – you will be reeling off the completely wrong program, have very little success and thus become more and more frustrated.
It is a logical conclusion that mental attitude and will suffer as well.
Accordingly, the result will be negative.
• Different bodies also have different realities when it comes to skin colour. There are people who tan very quickly and those who fry for hours in the sun – and only turn red, only to take on the white colour again afterwards.
To ignore this reality of the body has a strong negative effect on the health of those people who have a very pale complexion but will never have the desired tanning effect. These people can still lie in the sun for as long as it takes – they will at most provoke skin damage and negative long-term consequences but will never achieve the desired degree of tanning.
The body simply won’t let its reality be taken away from it. And ignoring it means fighting your own body.
Exercise 86:
Make a note today of the realities of your body you can recognize that you are not satisfied with.
And please also note how it has become noticeable so far if you have ignored these realities of your body.
Continued success with the implementation!
Recognition Unit 87:
What can we now do to cope better with the realities of our body?
The basis for recognising and understanding the realities of our body is first of all self-observations.
Observe your body as if you were an outsider.
• When do you get tired?
• Are these always the same times?
• Reduce your sleep systematically and observe how your body reacts to it. How much sleep do you need at least?
• For a while, follow exactly how your body reacts to certain foods and what effect the time of eating has on your body.
Observe your body for a while and recognize its realities.
Write them down, familiarize yourself with them and accept the realities of your body.
As a second step you will observe what effects these realities have on your well-being.
• Register consciously when you feel good because you have observed the realities of your body.
• and when you feel bad for ignoring them.
Observe this and judge for yourself, which realities of your body you should absolutely consider, because otherwise your well-being is massively disturbed and which realities you can more easily ignore, because the effects are not particularly disturbing for you.
Make a note of those realities that you should definitely consider as so-called “A-realities”.
Now you can start to decide on your own responsibility and consciously, which realities you accept and can/will leave them as they are – and which realities of your body you can/would like to change, because you find the effects of these realities very disturbing and the observance of these realities is not really necessary for the permanent well-being of your body.
For example, an adult’s healthy body does not need more than an average of six hours of sleep.
If you currently sleep more and are healthy, but your body has the reality at the moment that you need eight hours of sleep because otherwise you are not fit – then this is a reality. But you can change that if you find it disturbing that you lose two hours of your time every day.
The permanent well-being of your body will not be affected, because after a period of getting used to it, six hours of sleep will suffice.
You will then have changed its reality permanently, feel comfortable with it and profit from it.
Such a change of the realities of a body should be approached carefully.
Lead the body slowly to the new reality, let it experience that this new reality creates a good feeling and repeat this over and over again – until the body has got used to the pleasant feeling of the new reality and the old reality “overlaps” with it.
Do not force your body to a new reality overnight, you would only lose this “fight”. “Convince” him slowly and steadily.
Exercise 87:
Note here which realities of your body you now want to change and will change.
Please also note why you want to change these realities – and especially which new realities you will “overlap” the old ones with.
Continued success with the implementation!
Recognition Unit 88:
How does the law of reality affect our inner harmony?
Have you ever looked at photos of an event where you were also present? Good.
And what was the first thing you paid attention to?
Did you first look at all those people in the photos who you don’t know so well, who you don’t see so often?
No. Most likely not.
You probably – although you see yourself every day in the mirror – first looked for your own person in the photos and it was most interesting for you where and how you can be seen in the photos!
Right?
Or if a person who is normally not in the newspaper finds out that a three-line short message with his name is printed somewhere in the back of a daily newspaper – then the title page can say that the world will end in 48 hours:
This person will first feverishly leaf through the newspaper to discover the three-line short message with his name.
Everyone has the impression that they are the center of the universe.
Man, in general believes that his reality and his truth is the truth of all human beings. And he cannot imagine, or can only imagine with great difficulty, that someone else thinks differently, has a different reality.
In addition, many people are really afraid of another reality because they don’t know how to deal with it.
And instead of being willing to learn and thus expand their own comfort zone and develop their personality, they reject other realities out of pure fear.
This, however, makes communication worse and people less able to cooperate with each other. In addition, the own knowledge remains very limited and by all these circumstances the own dissatisfaction rises unstoppably.
One is more and more dissatisfied with oneself, because one is trapped in one’s own reality, although one knows that there are so many other realities, which it would be very interesting and helpful to get to know.
This gives you the feeling over time that you are forcing yourself to always stay in your own apartment, never leave your house for fear of what might be out there.
And you look out of the window more and more envious and longing and become more and more dissatisfied with yourself.
Those who hide from other realities will live very one-sidedly and feel no inner harmony, no satisfaction.
People who stubbornly persist in their own truth and reality appear very rigid over time and are very unhappy in living together because they accept nothing but their own reality and condemn everything else.
A person who only accepts his own reality is not capable of learning, very rigid and – as hard as it may sound – not usable for a society of the future. And because he also feels this, he will be more and more dissatisfied with himself.
It is important simply to accept that one knows only a very small part of the truth, only a small aspect of reality and is interested in getting to know other realities.
This makes you more open, flexible, capable of learning, efficient and satisfied.
Exercise 88:
Please note to each term what comes to your mind first:
Police . Money . Church . Politics . Taxes
and now please note for each of the above terms as many further descriptions – but at least three – as one could see this term differently.
For example, Family: First term “gives security” – further descriptions: always there for you, trust, always helpful in serious situations, etc.
Continued success with the implementation!
Recognition Unit 89:
Let us look at the daily, small effects on the inner harmony, if I cannot cope with the different realities:
If I only accept my own reality, it means that I simply become an outsider.
And the more I entrench myself in my own reality, the more every opposing reality disturbs me. All the more dislike I will develop against any other reality and thus also against the corresponding persons.
I will become discouraged, I will try to change the others, which of course does not work, which leads to an unnecessary loss of strength and very often to frustration.
We experience this again and again when living together in a team. If someone tries to change the others in such a way that they become like you, frustration is built in from the beginning.
That means loss of strength, also unpleasantness, no tolerance towards other behaviour, no tolerance towards other views.
This makes the atmosphere very tense.
At work, this means that if a person insists extremely on his own truth and reality, there will be great tension in an inhomogeneous team (an inhomogeneous team, that is one in which many different characters are represented, is much more efficient than a homogeneous team).
And many forces that should be used for productive work are pulverized into this tension.
You won’t be able to change anything about such a situation unless this person slowly begins to accept the reality of others.
If this is not the case, there are many empty kilometres with a lot of unnecessary effort.
In the partnership it is quite similar. If in the partnership the alterity of the other person is not accepted, there is the effect of complete alienation.
The one becomes more and more rigid and the other becomes for the same reasons, because he feels this narrowness, this enormous power, more and more chaotic, more and more colourful, more and more rapid and the two partners develop extremely apart.
Everyone says: “Mine is good, yours is bad” and after some time there is no more connection.
Not applying the law of reality in everyday life means that I have to waste more and more time at work convincing others. I also waste time arguing with colleagues, which of course means losing more and more performance and justifying a negative track record.
A bad feeling, an inner dissatisfaction with myself and an imbalance, which very often leads to aggression – is then only a logical conclusion of all these results.
In my private life, disregarding the law of reality means that I have a lot of unnecessary complications with my fellow human beings and that I have a lot of difficulties with both my relationship and my friends.
Exercise 89:
Write down which realities of your colleagues disturb you, which you cannot understand.
1. Write down which realities of your friends/partners disturb you; you cannot understand.
2. And now ask yourself in all cases:
“Is only my reality valid or can this reality also be accepted?”
Recognition Unit 90:
Positive implementation of the law of reality in everyday practice in relation to inner harmony:
The secret to being more satisfied and thus more balanced and stronger with oneself and one’s environment is the acceptance of other realities.
However, this is not only to be tolerated by the other person, However, this is not just to tolerate the other person, but actually to be accepted in oneself and for oneself. This means to recognize things I do not like for myself by another person, then to accept them as a first step by that other person and then – and this is the decisive step – to apply and accept those things to myself as well!
That does not mean that you have to love this other reality now or that you have to practice it constantly.
No, but you must have experienced and accepted that other habit for yourself.
If you do this, you will find that a completely new atmosphere is created. Understanding and tolerance suddenly develop on their own and without struggle.
At the same time enormous powers are released, which are ideal for a team as well as for a partnership.
The development in two different directions suddenly comes to an end, because one no longer concentrates on the partner or the other team members and being different, but on oneself and tries to develop this other part, which one has not accepted so far.
Everyone involved benefits from this and it’s a lot of fun, because it means expanding one’s own possibilities.
Try to pay attention to what you don’t like, which colours you don’t like, which qualities get on your nerves and make friends with these colours and qualities.
• There is nothing good and nothing bad
• Hardness has a positive side; softness has a positive side.
• Loudness has a positive side and the quiet and introverted has a positive side.
Everything has positive and negative sides and actually it is only important that we learn to stop evaluating and put both as equal next to each other.
The feminine has a positive side, the masculine has a positive side and both have dark sides. When we connect the opposite poles, we reduce the shadow sides of the other pole. That’s what’s so great about it!
When you realize that you are a very tidy person who is very little creative, you should start doing unnecessary things, doing creative things.
To do something very stupid for once that doesn’t really fit into one’s own grid.
Conversely, if you are very creative and chaotic, you should make sure that you learn to be disciplined. At the same time doing the same things, getting used to a really hard structure and seeing how nice it is to have order in your life.
This means experiencing the other pole positively. Of course, this costs a lot and very consistent work. But it pays off.
Because the reward is inner satisfaction, peace and balance. And from this, in turn, comes to a large extent that strength which makes people privately satisfied and professionally successful.
Exercise 90:
1. Note please, which colours you like and whether you are rather a chaotic/creative type or an order loving human being.
2. And now please note those collars you don’t like and how the exact opposite of your type would behave.
Continued success with the implementation!
Cordial congratulations…
You have fully worked through the LAW OF REALITY. Super !!!
and you’ll be redirected to the next law.
We wish you continued many revealing insights …
Great, now you have successfully completed this exercise and internalised another step of the 12 laws. With each law, you will become more self-confident, think more sustainably and in a solution-oriented way. Each step will enable you to take the initiative and make conscious decisions in the future. Because who, if not you, determines your path.
By touching your mouse on the following button, you will reach the next exercise “No. 07 – The law of adaptation –“